For the first time in nearly a year, I’m sat here writing a blog post. Remember when I used to write a blog? When I used to post regularly and tell you witty anecdotes about my life? Well you might have forgotten I ever did that, because I’ve not blogged properly in a year.
So what’s been going on?
Well, the short version of the story is that I’ve had a pretty awful year, and well the blog just took a backseat while I was in my ‘sad Lisa’ phase. But that would make for a very short blog post now wouldn’t it? So grab a cuppa and let’s catch up.
So over a year ago I left my lovely job of two years, because although I loved it, I needed a change, and well more money. I left a nice place where I worked with people I liked, for an absolutely awful company where I lasted 10 days at before I walked out. The company was beyond awful, and the managing director, well there’s a whole Facebook group dedicated to him. It was a stupid mistake, and well started my chain of bad luck with jobs! I’ve since then had three more temporary positions, and my last place on the 3rd day of me being there announced the office is closing, just lovely.
My heart broke
Probably the biggest thing that’s happened to me this year is that my heart broke. It broke, and I honestly thought it would never ever feel better. My nearly 7 year relationship ended with the boy I’d met when I was 19 and he moved back halfway across the country. We had a mortgage, a home, and a whole life together, and sadly that’s not an easy thing to just end and walk away from, and as I learnt when it falls apart, it falls apart and sometimes it can’t be put back together.
Sure breakups are something that everyone experiences, but there is no easy way to deal with it. For me this came completely out of the blue, but now I’ve had time away from it I can see in hindsight, that it was probably coming. Dealing with heartbreak is difficult enough, but dealing with betrayal ontop of it all was worse. Hidden messages, ‘working late’, hotel rooms and lies, it can make you suspicious and paranoid, and sometimes you just need to get away from it all and run away. Which I did, I ran away to Canada.
Canada for me is a big turning point in my life. I was beyond miserable, my mental health was pretty terrible, and so my life long friend suggested I came to visit her in Canada. So I booked a flight with 8 days notice, because my boyfriend had just packed up all his stuff and left and I couldn’t deal with life. I’m terrified of flying, like actually terrified, and I have awful anxiety about being on my own in places I don’t know, so for me flying all the way to Vancouver on my own and exploring the city on my own, was the bravest thing I’ve probably ever done. Canada was the first time after a very long dark time that I felt happy again, although when I came back to England and had to deal with my life again.
I sold my flat
So after the initial breakup had sunk in, we put our flat up for sale, I was heartbroken. I loved my flat, it was small, and it was in a crappy town, but I loved it. It was meant to be somewhere where I started a life with someone, and instead I was selling it to someone else to start theirs. My flat sold within a day, for the full asking price, but the whole sale process dragged out for 5 months. After 3 months of living alone (and actually enjoying it!) I moved back to my parents house as I thought the sale was finally ready, but hey I hired the worst solicitors ever and it took another 2. We finally completed last month, and that chapter of my life is now over.
But hey it’s not all doom and gloom, while this has been a really hard, rubbish year, it’s not been all bad. Although I did recently joke that nothing else bad could happen to me this year, and then I had someone drive into me at 60mph…
This year has had lots of adventures. Canada wasn’t the only fun thing I did this year, I’ve done a whole bunch of things that I probably never would have done. I’ve made new friends, I’ve seen new things, I learnt how amazing some of my friends really are. I also started to enjoy being single for the first time in 7 years, and started dating new people, which was an adventure on its own, and in amongst that I met someone. He’s lovely and makes me laugh, and seems to understand the weird things I do. Maybe it’ll work out, maybe it won’t, but right now I’m happy.
This isn’t the way I thought my year would go when it started, and I’ve learnt a lot, but I now think I can talk about it all and laugh. It’s good to be writing again, and it’s good to be out of the sad Lisa phase.